In our training before going to China the first year, our leader, Jamie Ballentine, told us, in a class with just the men, that while we were in China we needed to practice "Instant Forgiveness" with our mates. I have pondered on that advice ever since. He meant that when our eternal companion did or said something that bugged us that, rather than judging or harboring that bothered feeling, we simply forgive without even bringing the issue up.
I began trying to practice this. It's not as easy as it sounds! I certainly haven't mastered it yet, but I've found that (as OCD as I am) letting these things roll right off my back relaxes my mind and body. It gives ME more peace. It helps me love her more. It even makes it easier for me to ask forgiveness when I do or say things that I realize later were hurtful or just bothersome.
I've practiced this in regard to many people since. It's not about waiting for that person to ask for forgiveness, or waiting to give that forgiveness until they change or improve. It's about shedding, as quickly as I can, that extra weight of being bothered, which adds to my burden.
I would ask that we ponder and practice "Instant Forgiveness" as it relates to our mate, but also as it relates to our siblings. It will grow peace and love between us.
I was discussing this with Zina last night, and then we listened to the next conference talk (we try to listen to one every week). I was amazed that it was right on the topic I had been discussing! It is titled
If you listen to it, try to follow along in the text, as you will get a lot more out of it. I encourage each of you to read this talk and consider practicing "Instant Forgiveness" with each other and with others. It will give you more peace and prepare us to live in Zion.
