Hang in there. Keep repenting and forgiving

My prayer for my family and their families is that we will all repent and forgive, repent and forgive, over and over in our families and marriages.  Have faith.  It will work out.  Be constant to our Father in Heaven and His Son.  Keep getting up when you fail, even when you think you will never be what you want to be.  He will get you there – eventually.  I know that with all my heart.

THE EMPEROR'S UNIVERSITY

There once was a great emperor who, unlike most emperors, was both just and merciful.  He had a very large family.  As the children began reaching adulthood, he wanted them to help him rule the empire by appointing them kings or queens over different regions within the empire.  However he didn’t want them to become tyrants or rebels with their power.  So he sent his oldest, and most trusted son to build a university in a foreign country far from home and who commissioned professors to both teach and test his children when they came of age.

There were the usual subjects of math, science, literature, technical skills, etc.  But unbeknownst to the children, he also directed the professors to provide situations where the children could be observed interacting with the other students to test them in regards to how they treated others when they had some power given to them.  If they proved that they could handle power and had control of their emotions and passions, these children would be appointed kings and queens over portions of the kingdom.  Those who did not prove themselves were appointed other tasks when they returned home and lived comfortably, but were not given power within the empire.

You and I are those children.  We are at the university (Earth) now, and because it is so far away and we have been here so long, we don’t remember home.  We only know the university (Earth) life.  This past year in my upper class studies I have been enrolled in a class not of my choosing called cancer.  I have studied topics such as fear, self-pity, hopelessness, pain, patience, and endurance.  I have been given riddles to solve, such as “Why should I be subjected to this trial when I have spent my life trying to live well both temporally and spiritually?  I have served others and learned to live by truth.  Why do I now have to suffer this pain and reduction in power and freedom?”

I have studied the best books for learning about these topics, and I have gone to the sources of power and energy (scriptures and words of the prophets) needed to fight the inner battles associated with these topics.  I have become aware that no matter how hard the courses, or how difficult the lessons, there are professors both seen and unseen (ancestors) who are watching out for us.  It appears that I am about to complete this course, though I do not know if I will be re-enrolled at some point in the future.  I do have some ribbons and decorations, called scars, which have been awarded for, and are proof of, my participation in these battles.

It is my hope that you and I may, with help from these professors and the builder (Jesus) of the university (Earth), be able to build and prove our worthiness, that each of us might be appointed a kingdom of our own, where we may begin our own eternal families and become like our parents, the Emperor and Empress of Heaven.

When we understand these things, it colors how, and on what, we focus our efforts.  It changes how we feel about others and our desires.  It strengthens us in difficult times to press forward in doing what’s right, to examine and improve ourselves, and to resist the mocking of the world.  It becomes a shield and a compass to us in the battle of life.  That understanding only comes with study, service, prayer, and time.

"Insights From My Life" by Elder Neal A. Maxwell

If I could give any advice to my family at this point in my life, I believe it would be best vocalized in this talk "Insights From My Life" by Elder Neal A. Maxwell in 1999.  I urge my family to read and ponder this.

The Lord's University - The Earth!

Despite other assertions, the “Lord’s University” is really – the earth.  Our pre-mortal life was more like our K-12 education.  It was “at home” and in the presence of our parents and family.  Now it is our time to “go to college” before embarking on our own careers and families.  Before we can be trusted with ultimate power, or even partial power, we must be educated and tested in a “real world” setting and on our own, away from Him.  How will we use certain powers in a real setting with real consequences?  What are our real desires?  What are we made of?

During our education and testing at the Lord’s University, He, as our Father, enrolls us in “classes” we probably would not enroll in on our own.  He knows that these “classes” are necessary for our success however, and if failed will require make-up courses or may possibly limit options for our “career.”  These classes may include disasters and/or prosperity (from our point of view), because we are viewing this life as the “real thing,” which it is not.  It is temporary.  It will end.  Our “real” life will begin after the resurrection, when all pain is gone and judgment has been made.

How can this understanding help us to succeed in these “classes?”  When we understand how temporary this life is, that it is really more of a school, the fashions and glories of it become less enticing.  Of course that understanding can only come as we study the scriptures and the words of the living prophets, as well as obey His commandments and draw close to Him in prayer and service.  This could be likened unto clinging to the Iron Rod and partaking of the fruit of the Tree of Life.  Gradually we then can begin to see the lack of foundation of the great and spacious building and know that it will someday collapse.

Of course just understanding this alone will not get us where we want to be.  We have to work, learn and take responsibility, humble ourselves, and purge ourselves from the glories of the world – all while living in it!  Getting our desires in line with God’s knowledge and wisdom is what will bring peace and enjoyment in following Him.  I pray for you, my children and descendants, that you will work to put your desires in line with His, in other words make your eye single to the glory of God, which is the saving of souls.

What "Repent" Really Means

When we say over and over again, repent, repent, repent, what we are NOT saying is, "You sinner, you sinner!"  We are saying, "Don't quit improving, or changing for the better."  Since we cannot achieve perfection in this life, we will ALWAYS need to keep repenting while we are mortal.  Repenting means changing for the better.  It is about the attitude as much as the action.  We need to be willing to learn and change as the spirt directs us.  Just because I'm not murdering anyone or stealing from them doesn't mean I don't need to keep repenting.  Please repent - daily.

Purity

Seek to become pure through the atonement.  Sexual impurity, whether self abuse or with a partner other than your spouse, is addictive and prevents the Spirit from directing your thinking in the ways of truth.  It is like disconnecting the rudder of your ship in the middle of the ocean.  You become lost and are at the mercy of conflicting currents and the winds of varying doctrines and appetites.

When you get in that situation, Satan will do whatever he can to destroy you, both spiritually and physically, unless he can use you to destroy others' spirituality first.  Fortunately, if you sincerely seek for repentance, the Savior can help you back and protect you.

Do not put off repentance however, for the Adversary will make it harder and more confusing the longer you wait.  Repent every day of impure thoughts, words, or actions, acknowledging your weakness to our Father in Heaven.  He knows already, but becoming humble and truthful before Him gives strength to conquer the enemy of your soul.  Humility allows him to teach and empower you.  His grace is sufficient, or in other words, more powerful than the sin or the devil's chains.  But remember that if you procrastinate the day of your repentance, it becomes increasingly difficult.  And who knows when the night of death will close the door back to Him?

Heavenly Father is more kind, helpful, truthful, and dependable than anyone on earth.  I want to come back to Him more than to any person on earth.  He knows me and loves me more.  How terrible it would be to not be able to come back to Him, especially with all He has done for me.  Let us all humbly, patiently, with perseverance seek to purify ourselves, through the atonement, that we may become like His Son, our Savior, that He might exalt us into His presence forever together!

Expect Miracles!

You should expect miracles, because He is expecting miracles from you!  Miracles pertaining to the changing of hearts.  These are the greatest miracles of all, those that bless lives and lift souls!  Of course don't expect Him to cover for your laziness, however He does make-up the difference, when asked, for your weaknesses, even spiritual frailties.

He cannot be deceived or used or manipulated.  Instead become His friend by listening to what He has and does say, whether through the scriptures, his prophets today, or by the spirit to you in prayer.  Trust Him and be trustworthy yourself.  Be humble and admit all weaknesses and errors to Him.  Then trust in His counsel through His servants.  He will help you in your weakness, if you seek to follow Him wholly.